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yay!

 So Jubeda had her first home evaluation today, and it went REALLY well. I really like the people who are going to be working with her. She's excited about it. They've made sure that when they come they are going to do things that Jubeda likes, things that play to her strengths. This is going to be really good for us!
If you're on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet or long and detailed, all is good. Comment here with your answers, and repost the questionnaire to your own journal.

your dreams, day 5

 Not really sure what to say about my dreams. I don't have many. And I no longer consider them dreams; they're goals. It's my life and I have to start taking control of it.
 Got an apology letter from my sis today. Surprisingly. But it did make me feel better that she at least acknowledges she was wrong. She didn't believe I was sick. And she could be quite mean about it sometimes. Anyway, it was good that she at least admit that she was wrong. 
Just thinking about how LUCKY I am. I'm having some issues with Jubeda, but now that I've severed contact with her father they're working out nicely. She knows I love her, that I'm always here for her. She knows she can tell me anything. And she's such a GREAT GIRL! I'm blessed to have her in my life. 

I'm so fortunate. Today I went to get milk and walked by the "have you seen me?" wall of the grocery store. Then I went to pick up my prescriptions and two little girls were selling lemonade for pediatric cancer. Every day on the news I see children who have gone missing, been abused, been murdered, starved, belittled. They could be Jubeda. It's just an accident of fate where we are born, just chance that she is here, safe in my arms, and another six-year-old has nothing to eat tonight. Children are our greatest, and most often abused, gift. 

I want to do something, but I don't know what. I can't stand the abuse in this world anymore. I can't stand that something called "child porn" even exists and we all know what it means. I've been looking for a career path lately, maybe that's my answer. Maybe I need to do something in child advocacy or CYS. Hmmm . . . .
Been thinking about religion a lot lately. Well, I guess I've not so much been thinking about religion but thinking about faith. I used to have it, I think, when I was younger. But now I don't know. I have so many questions. 

Like the flood. . . where did all the water go? It receded, I get that, which basically means it evaporated. Which means it will have to rain down again. That's how we get our water? Soooooo; why haven't we flooded again?

And the tower of babel? Really? That's where we got all our languages? Then why do so many different languages have the same roots? 

At the same time, though. I think the story is beautiful. What an amazing thing to be true.
 Got all my strength back. Yay! Now it's just a matter of finding a job. And becoming a productive member of society once again. And not a moment too soon, my savings space now has an echo. I've been applying at places left and right, but no luck so far. I'm not technically meant to start work until September, so I've still got a lil time. I just feel so freaking useless at the moment. Can't wait to get an income, pay my parents rent, take my kid to meet her sister.
 Took Jubeda tadpole hunting yesterday; something every lil country girl should do. We found a bunch, and scooped up a dozen or so to bring home and put in a tank. I hope they live for her . . . I remember when I was a kid I only actually had one tadpole go from tadpole to frog. it was still cool to watch, though.

My boys have been a bit neglected lately, I have to start giving them a lil more love. They're in their cage squeaking at me and looking all sweet.

I have to exercise more; haven't gained more weight, thankfully, but I've not lost the 15 or 20 I need to. Grrrrrr.

your parents , day 3

 Dear Mom & Dad,

I just wanted to tell you that regardless of our differences in opinion, I've never doubted that you love me. And I believe that you did the best you could with me. I appreciate everything you've done and how great you are with my daughter.

Amy

your crush , day 2

 Hey Davey Baby,

My crush . . . I feel all of 12-years-old now. Who says crush now? That's what prompted the "Davey Baby;" I promise I'll never call you that in person! lol

Anyway, you're more than my crush. You're very close to being my existence. I know that sounds totally sappy and unbelievable , but it's true. I was married in the past, but honestly you are the one who has taught me about love. You are the one who has made all of those sappy songs and movies make sense. You are the one I want to run to when things are horrible, and the one I want here with me when things are great. No matter what is happening, you make everything okay.

I know how lucky I am to have found you. I can't believe I was given a second chance when I wasn't even looking for it. You're so good to me and to my child. I couldn't ask for better. I hope I make you as happy as you make me.

I love you,
Amy